It’s sad that it immediately occurred to me to make this post an ongoing series but at the same time, I have enough to be ashamed about that making it an ongoing thing was pretty much a given. Gamers ,often by definition when equated with the online variety are seen as a shameless animal anyways. But what I’m talking about is a more personal look at gaming folleys that should not have transpired. For each I’m limiting the amount of confession to a three item maximum because while there’s no shame in my game there is a limit to how much I can publicly disclose at one time. Personally it’s a little hard, I’m not gonna lie, but I think it’s time to own up to some of those things I don’t want anyone to know, things like…
Yes, I Was an Achievement Whore
With the 360’s lifespan rapidly approaching its end for many, I’m finally comfortable admitting that yes, I’m an achievement whore. Now there’s an important distinction to be made here. There are overachievers and achievement whores, the former will dominate a game to honest-to-god completion with not a single challenge left unbested. The latter will do sill things like rent a copy of Avatar just to spam the B button for the 5 minutes required for that holy 1000 points. Or they’ll play through mediocre games knowing that just completing it will put them over 500.
Yes, I’m the latter or was but have since (mostly) seen the error of my ways and gotten back to the core of gaming since the 2009/10 era.
I Always Picked Odd Job in Goldeneye
It was a compulsion but no one could deny the advantage gained by stepping into that little guy’s shoes. A skilled player could even circle strafe with such ferocity as to slap the sh*t out of an opponent to death like a child acting up in a supermarket but everyone new it was a complete dick move to pick him but I continued on completely undeterred. Being shorter than other kids myself when Goldeneye made its debut I think I felt a certain kinship with the iconic Bond assassin and with some bizarre inferiority complex entitlement spurring me on I absolutely refused to let anyone else be Oddjob. But whatevs- deal with it, nerds.
I’ve Made Wal-Mart Employees Go ‘In the Back’ to get Games at Midnight
If it isn’t ready at precisely the street date indicated I will badger you at the stroke of midnight
I’m sorry to any and all Wal-Mart employees reading this that are offended but the truth is you’re oftentimes the only place in town where I can get some titles at midnight. As a gamer sometimes you’re so excited about a new title debuting that you preorder it and then when the day comes to pick it up you’re horrified to find that the place you preordered it from isn’t having a midnight launch. That’s why, yes, if my copy of soon-to-be-game-of-the-year Haze isn’t ready at precisely the street date indicated I will badger you at the stroke of midnight to see if it’s in the back. Believe me, I hate asking you to do it as much as you despise me for asking but nonetheless in this producer/consumer relationship we enjoy I have needs and unfortunately only you with your magical behind-the-scenes powers are able to bring my shallow dreams to reality.
BONUS SHAME! That Wal-Mart thing? I may or may not have done the same thing when The Matrix: Reloaded came out…
So does all of this equate to douchery of the highest degree? Nah, not the highest but there’s certainly some unsavory etiquette I’ve put into practice in my gaming ‘career’. Not quite Tonya Harding levels of dickery but the parallels are undeniable.
What are some of your most unsavory gaming moments? Can you share or is the burden of shame too great a thing to bear?