Yes, I’m talking to you, bro.  I understand that your popped collar and livestrong bracelet necessitate your weekly beer pong in the garage two doors down from me every Saturday night, but I’m not here to talk about that.  No sir, I’m here to plead with you over a far less irritating, though certainly humorous, infraction. So if you could turn down that Jack Johnson for a second and take a listen that would be super.

The other night I went to the Mass Effect 2 launch where apparently MAG (Massive Action Game) also launched.  Whilst hovering about the counter, making small talk with Nicole and again enjoying the excited chatter of sci-fi geeks all around, eager for their fix, I couldn’t help but notice that two college-aged bros (the most prominent species) had just purchased copies of MAG.  The conversation played out like this:

Bro 1 : Dude, I just realized, MAG stands for Multiplayer Online Game!  I just now realized that!

Now, at this point I chuckled to myself and waited for Bro 2′s inexorable retort, explaining how that doesn’t fall in line with the practical application of acronyms.  But then this happened:

Bro 2 : Oh my God you’re right! How did we not notice that?!  That’s awesome!

I literally facepalmed.  We always throw the term ‘facepalm’ around on the interwebs these days but with an audible slap, my hand met my face in a most jarring confrontation.

So let this be a lesson bros- While we much appreciate your steady stream of Natty Ice you supply us with and even enjoy the nail-biting, proximity-mine whoring, spawn-point camping you employ in a rousing game of Goldeneye, for God’s sakes, please don’t try to decipher anything deeper than spawn camping until you first conquer the game’s title.